So today I got word from the nurse at my younger son's school that he was pulling on his ear and saying "ow". For me this is a huge improvement as prior to about 18mo ago the only way I knew he was sick was when he spiked a fever. The kid would be running around climbing trees, playing in the backyard, eating normally and then suddenly I would discover he had a raging fever and have to quickly rush him to the doctor. This is what's fun about a child who is non-verbal. Remember those baby days when they couldn't tell you what was wrong but you knew they weren't feeling well. This is very similar except they weren't acting sick. I always felt like the mom of the year as I sat in the Dr's office and discovered that my son had not one, but TWO raging ear infections.
So today off we went to the Dr grateful that, for once, this had happened on Monday and not Friday afternoon. Z immediately began to wash his hands in the sink (ie play with water). I figured I had a good 5 minutes or so before I had to interest him in something else so I wouldn't look like I was wasting water. Just then the Dr came in, not our regular Dr but one of his associates who had an opening (poor guy) and caught us red (wet) handed. I quickly shut off the water and dried off Z's hands. The Dr spoke to me about how long and all those types of things while I tried to be a physical barrier between Z and the coveted sink. Just the the Dr said, "ok let's look at those ears". Boy that kid moves fast. Right to the opposite side of the room and huddled on the floor. Here's where I once again tried to go for the mother of year award and failed miserably. I thought in my head....ok, lets reason with him. "Z, would you like some McDonalds? First Dr then McDonalds." I felt like this would show the Dr that I was in control of my son and that I could use First/Then techniques to get amazing things accomplished, like looking in ears. Therein was my first mistake. The thought that I could reason with Z. He knew exactly where we were. Last time we were there he had an earache and they looked in his ear and then afterwards he got a shot. He was no dummy, there was not a chance he was going to let us see his ears with simple reasoning. So the little Turkey sat on that floor looked up at me and grinned. I knew right then and there I was in trouble. Where to go next. Brute force? I knew from past experience that brute force was definitely on his side as opposed to mine in spite of the fact that I am twice his size. Plus I wanted to make sure to not cause the Dr to entertain the idea of calling Child Protective Services.
So I looked helplessly at the Dr as asked if he wanted to call in reinforcements. He looked a bit taken aback but seemed to cover it quickly. I took hold of Z as hard as I could and wrapped my leg around his legs. My prayer was that on one (me) would end up with a bloody lip or concussion. The Dr, swooped in and quickly looked at the first ear and declared it clear, no infection. I knew we were only half way there so I shifted a bit and moved Z so the Dr would have access to his other ear. Once again he swooped in and declared the ear clear. At that moment I had two remarkably conflicting emotions. Relief that my sweet, gentle, baby boy was not in pain and unable to express it, and absolute frustration that we had gone through all of this trauma for nothing. Seriously, at that point I wanted a sucker and to go home. The Dr mumbled something about how unusual it was for children Z's age to have ear infections (now you mention it) and that it looks like he may have a stuffy nose so perhaps it's the beginning of a cold. So we grab our stuff, Z is out the door and half way down the hall by the time I'm through the room doorway he's so eager to get out of this place. We blessedly get through the checkout area quickly with only a half dozen dings of the bell they have sitting in the window to make them aware you are there and then head out the door.
As I reflected on this trip and spent a few minutes feeling sorry for myself that no one understands what I go through and how hard I have it and how frustrating this all was I began to think of this blog. Why would a faithful God? Why would a faithful God drag Z and I out for no reason whatsoever to make spectacles of ourselves and then look silly.
I thought for a moment and then began to think of the alternative. Would I have rather been told that there was a problem? What if I had been told that not only was there a problem with is ear but it looks like there's something else going on, let's order some more tests? What if those tests showed something very serious and life altering? I realized that I was put out that we had "wasted" a whole afternoon (90 minutes) for nothing more than a cold when there were parents all over the world that would have raced to trade places with me and only have gotten a "cold" diagnosis for their child. I realized that my faithful God protected us, once again, from more sadness and suffering than we could bear. I was so thankful for this cold and that I was able to take Z home (after a trip through the McDonald's drive-thru) and there was nothing more serious.
It doesn't always happen this way, but today, I am thankful that it did.
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