How many times do I have to repeat?

We are a visual family.  I have discovered that using verbal instructions is only partially effective at best and visual cues are the best.  When I say to J to go upstairs and get his socks out of his drawer and put them on he will quickly go upstairs for anywhere between 10 and 15 minutes after which point he will come back downstairs and ask what he was supposed to be doing upstairs. Or he will come downstairs having completely changed his clothes and have nothing on his feet.  I admit there are times this amuses me and times it infuriates me.  Mostly depending on how late we are.  

With Z it is even more dicey.  I can say to him to go get his sippy cup when he comes and asks for water.  I know he has had the cup within 5 to 10 minutes of his requesting more water but for some reason 9 times out of 10 I get something brought to me other than a sippy cup.  I've had bowls of cereal, stuffed animals, dirty socks, his father's empty water glass, pretty much anything he can get his hands on figuring hes bringing me something.  I think he figures it's some kind of exchange.  He brings me an empty bag of chips and I give him a full sippy of water.  

So we have found that having a visual picture or having things written down is a huge help.  At school the boys carry around small paper size white boards where they are able to write down lists or choices when they come up quickly.  We also try to have pictures of some of Z's favorite items so he can choose what he most likes.  

I think what I have found out is the more I try to get the boys to act like regular kids and do what typical kids would do the more frustrated everyone gets.  Once I realize how their brains work and what works best with their brains then I can figure out real world solutions that help them to navigate through this sometimes alien and unaccommodating world they find themselves in.  This means that I have to repeat myself over and over again with minimal results or I can write it down or get a picture of it and say it once.