Never more than I can handle

It's interesting, I have always been told that God will not give us more than we can handle.  I have heard that and wondered if God has entirely too high an opinion of me.  There have been seasons where I have just wanted to pull the covers over my head and pretend the world away.  Honestly there have been times where I have actually done that.  The thing is that there is so much guilt over the idea that we, as moms, are not able to handle what we are given.  We are supposed to have it all and be able to do it all, work, raise children, keep our house clean, keep our husbands happy, helps others, it goes on and on.  The problem is that when a mom gets a child with special needs they don't get a pass.  They are still expected to do all these things and deal with their special needs child.  Is this fair?  No, but it does happen.

I remember when J was 5 and Z was 3.  One day Z was in the backyard playing and I got a phone call, I ran into the house to answer the phone and as I walked back outside talking on the phone I realized Z was gone.  I ran around calling for him and called 911.  As I was on the phone with the woman dispatcher she indicated they had a call of a child at our corner gas station.  This gas station is at the corner of two 4-6 lane roads counting turning lanes so it's pretty major.  I grabbed J and ran to the gas station with a police officer following. We saw Z and brought him back home.  I remember standing in my kitchen with the police officer who asked me how I was going to keep this from happening again.  I looked around the room at the windows that only opened 2 inches to keep Z from climbing out them, at the outside door that was double key locked both inside and outside, at the bars on the upper windows that opened more than 2 inches, and I didn't have an answer.  After he left I started figuring out a plan B and that was where we found Gemini our amazing Autism Service Dog.

I'm not trying to start a pity party or look for extra sympathy from those who do not have special needs children since many parents have times in their lives where their children go through seasons of having special needs.  What I am doing is speaking to the moms of those kids with special needs.  It's ok to not be ok.  It's ok  to not have all the answers and to just make the best decision you can make at the time. It's ok to leave your child with a baby-sitter so you can go out to eat with your husband or even alone with a good book and not talk to anyone for a whole night.  It's ok to ask your doctor for medication to help take the edge off the depression you are experiencing due to the extreme stress and pressure you are under every day or to help deal with the anxiety you feel over trying to keep your child save all the time.

Sometimes you get more than you can handle and it's ok to ask for help.